Liverpool 2-1 Manchester United (13th September)

The day’s early kick-off sees Manchester United make the short journey to Anfield to play Liverpool. After Old Trafford, Anfield is United’s second favourite ground: a victory today would be United’s sixth consecutive premier league victory over the hubcap stealers, and the third straight victory in Liverpool. The team news saw United’s new signing Dimitar Berbatov make his debut whilst Spanish rent boy Fernando Torres and King of the Unemployed Steven Gerrard start on the bench. £10m nobody Albert Riera, who was so rubbish he went on loan to Manchester Shitty and they sent him back, starts on the left.

Dimitar Berbatov

2 min: A terrific flick from Mr. Anderson puts Berbatov through. He pulls the ball back to Argentinian bad boy Carlos Tevez, who slots the ball home easily despite the sun reflecting fiercely off Pepe Reina’s forehead.

26 min: Edwin van der Sar, who is shortly due to replace John O’Shea as the fan’s number one target for booing, flaps aimlessly at a nothing ball again. He pushes the ball onto Wes Not Wes Brown’s shin, and despite being able to Walk The Dinosaur Brown can do nothing to stop the ball trickling over the line. Fact: under Benitez, no Liverpool player has scored against United in the league. The last two goals registered by Liverpool were own goals by John O’Shea and Wes Not Wes Brown. That’s the second really bad mistake that the goalkeeper has made this half – the first one nearly cost a goal too.

Carlos Tevez scores against Liverpool

Half-time: United were the stronger team up until the equalizer, but there’s no doubt that it’s much more equal now and the Giro Boys are right back in it.  We’ve barely heard Berbatov and Tevez’ name since van der Sar’s howler. Following up his red for Argentina in midweek, goalscorer Tevez has picked up a yellow card.

In the great tradition of Jermaine Pennant and Mark Gonzalez, Albert Riera looks like complete no-hoper on whom Benitez wasted quite a few bob. How does he have the nerve to say he never gets any money to spend? Whilst flicking through the channels at half-time I came across “When I Grow Up” by The Pussycat Dolls. Christ on a bike, what a pile of shit it is! (Shameless plug: if you want some decent music, try my music blog Ad Fundum)

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45 min: Giggs comes on at half-time for the returning Michael Carrick, who was injured due to his involvement in the first tackle of Yossi Benayou’s career.

47min: First shock of the second half; Edwin van der Sar catches a corner.

51min: Ouch! That hurt! A cross from Riera was so wayward it hit me on the head, and I’m in Sheffield.

56min: That whooooooshing noise you can hear is an air shot from Robbie Keane, open net, three yards out. The Giro Boys are well on top and I’d be a lot more nervous if I wasn’t spending so long looking at the PC monitor whilst typing.

65min: Paul Scholes is replaced by Owen Hargreaves. Worryingly, we’ve just seen Michael Carrick limp on to the bench with his foot in a protective cast.

69min: King of the Unemployed Steven Gerrard gives the ball away the World’s Oldest Man Ryan Giggs, whose dipping long range shot is well saved.

70min: Benitez remembers that Shitty reject Albert Riera is still on the pitch so substitutes him immediately. In true Benitez clueless fashion he takes one of the continent’s brightest young centre-forwards (Ryan Babel) and plays him on the wing.

75min: An ill-advised toilet trip sees me out of the room when Liverpool score. Shit. The only bright spot of the afternoon is that I decided not to make Wayne Rooney my captain for this weekend’s fantasy league games. It’s fair to say that we’ve gone backwards gradually since our goal and for the entire second half United’s front six have been passengers. In the time that I’ve typed this United have picked up two yellow cards – what the smeg is going on?

84min: Benitez decides to sub Robbie Keane, then while Keane is walking over changes his mind and decides he might sub Mascherano. But doesn’t. I’ve just seen Liverpool’s goal – what the hell was Giggs playing at? Why not just put the ball out? I don’t understand why Giggs even has a squad number, let alone a place on the pitch. And now Benitez has decided he will take off Mascherano and bring on Hyypia.

89min: Vidic is sent off and now my life is ruined forever. Traditionally I don’t watch any more football in a weekend when United lose, so it’s anyone’s guess as to whether I’ll post anything else over the weekend. Norman Vidic’s red card means he misses the next game, but it’s only away to Chelsea so it probably won’t matter …

91min: Dirk Kuyt misses a sitter from a foot out. I’m not kidding – a Weetabix would have scored from there. Dirk Kuyt is shit.

Full time: A 2-1 defeat to the Jobseekers Allowance XI. I hate them. We started well and got progressively worse. Last season we lost our third game to a local rival and it didn’t end up too badly, but crikey we need to get sorted out quickly. At least Cristiano Ronaldo is almost fit.

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Player profile – Rodrigo Possebon

I see, from the excellent statistics page supplied with WordPress blogs, that a number of people have clicked on this blog whilst looking for information on Rodrigo Possebon, Manchester United’s bright’n’shiny new Brazilian-Italian midfielder. There is a scarcity of information on this talented and very promising young midfielder, but in the interests of public service I thought I’d try and put something together. It’ll be a mish-mash of Wikipedia stuff, YouTube videos and bits and bobs, but here goes.

Rodrigo Pereira Possebon

Rodrigo Pereira Possebon is a 19 year old central midfielder, born 13th February 1989 in Sapucaia do Sul, Brazil. As his father has Italian ancestry, he holds an Italian passport and therefore is not subject to Work Permit difficulties. His command of the English language is supposedly very good, so hopefully that will aid his settling-in at United. He was signed from Internacional of Brazil for an unknown fee – Wikipedia reports it as being around the 3.5 million Euros mark, but I’ve seen no evidence to back that claim up. He joined United in January 2008 and for the 2008-2009 season was initially handed the number 34 shirt that Ryan Shawcross held before his transfer to Stoke City, but appears to have been registered in the number 35 shirt for this season.

Possebon’s performance against Blackburn, highlighted on MUTV

Possebon is primarily a central midfielder of a type that has been lacking at Old Trafford for a while. He’s not a dribbler like Ryan Giggs; he’s not really the type to break into the box with a late run like Paul Scholes; nor is likely to fall over his own feet whilst standing perfectly still, like John O’Shea. He’s a box -to-box player, something between Bryan Robson and Roy Keane in style. He doesn’t – yet – have Captain Marvel’s finishing ability, although you should see how he hits a volley in this match against Bolton, which was the 2008 Manchester Senior Cup Final:

In his time at Old Trafford, he’s alllready made a name as someone who is able to hit shots from long range with power and accuracy. He was a late call-up to the African pre-season tour, playing against the Kaizer chiefs in a display that left Sir Alex Ferguson purring.

Possebon as an Internacional player

Possebon made his league debut against Newcastle in the drab 0-0 draw at the start of this season and settled immediately, distributing the ball well without giving it away once. He also came on against Portsmouth, and gave the ball away with his first touch. However, he chased back after the player and won the ball with an excellent clean tackle on the edge of his own box.

Finally, this is the 2008 Lancashire Senior Cup Final. This is Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s first match as reserve team manager, and Possebon played in midfield:

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